Maggie O’Farrell’s memoir I AM I AM I AM: Seventeen Brushes With Death (Tinder Press 2017) is an account of the author’s many near-death experiences from when she was a child to a mother. In beautiful literary prose, she recounts an almost unbelievable list of near misses, from accidents to illnesses, from the inexplicable to events resulting from unwise decisions.
This memoir is tender, shocking, wise and heart-warming; frightening in its vision of death at close quarters, and reassuring at the skill of medical professionals. It is a list of miracles; a set of circumstances and incidents that enable the reader to feel the close brush of death against our skin, while also encapsulating the sheer joy of living, the against the odds probability of pulsing blood, a beating heart, working limbs, neurons firing, synapses connecting, skin holding all our parts together.
O’Farrell’s recollections are not chronological, but each chapter is structured with the name and medical drawing of a part of the body: lungs; neck; abdomen; cerebellum. Her stories include almost falling into the hands of a dangerous stranger who later killed a woman; several instances of almost drowning; several accidental near lethal misses; serious plane turbulence; two almost kidnappings; an emergency caesarean; miscarriages; a close call with a knife-throwing circus performer; an almost roadside traffic accident; severe amoebic dysentery; a worrying blood test in the 80’s; a near fatal case of childhood encephalitis; and a story about severe eczema that turned out to be allergic anaphylaxis.
Some of these events occur before the author is old enough to have the ability to remember and are reinforced by the memories of her mother. Some are printed indelibly on her mind and revisit her often as a dire warning for reckless behaviour or the hidden dangers of innocent things or a serve as a reminder of the fragility and preciousness of life.
While it might appear to be a horrific list of near misses and suffering, O’Farrell’s luminous writing shapes this book into anything but. Suffused with joy, gratitude, adventure, vitality, optimism, courage, stoicism and freedom, her words remind us how lucky we are to have been bestowed this enormous gift of life, how perilously close we are to misfortune at any given time, and how important it is to enjoy every moment of good physical and mental health we can. An extraordinary, life-affirming book, closely observed, crafted with skill and suffused with profound meaning.