Are you in an intimate relationship and struggling to know whether to stay or leave? Have you ever wondered why a woman might stay in a difficult marriage, or how she ever had the courage to leave? Nicole Madigan explores this issue in her non-fiction book TORN (Pantera Press 2025), in which women face huge challenges and must make a life-changing decision about which path to take.
Madigan bookends the central four stories of four women’s situations with some details of her own life experiences, and research references. But the book mostly focuses on these women and issues including addiction, infidelity, betrayal, loyalty, forgiveness, secrets, abuse and coercive control, asking the question: how much can we withstand before we give up on the dream life we always wanted and expected?
Anna has been with her husband since they were 12 years old. Now in her seventies, she speaks of the past trauma of her daughter showing her a card sent to her husband addressed from another woman. Kate, mid-fifties, tolerates her husband’s affairs and his excess drinking because she loves him and their children. But his gambling addiction is a line she is not willing to cross.
After a series of abusive relationships, Liana (now in her forties) was elated when she finally found someone ‘normal’. But her antennas for addiction problems are extra sensitive because of her past trauma, and she realises she has once again fallen for the wrong man. And Amanda, mid-thirties, struggles in her relationship with her husband who had been her childhood sweetheart. The discovery that he had been seeing sex workers for years terrifies her. She meets a new man, possibly the love of her life, but can she give up everything she has built to start afresh?
With sensitivity and compassion, Madigan tells the complex and layered stories of these four women in an attempt to untangle why women stay, why they leave, and the many complicated factors that might be deal breaking for one person, but tolerable for another. All four women face a crisis and must make a life-changing decision. Not all will make the decision the reader expects, and in this way, Madigan’s story encourages a tender discussion about how every marriage is different, every woman is prepared to sacrifice different things, and every woman has a breaking point. Every one of these four women is torn, unsure what to do, how to do it, and where to go from there.
Using extensive research interviews with the women (anonymised) and reimagining their past conversations and interactions, Madigan writes with warmth and sincerity about a subject close to her heart.
This book is for anyone who is considering whether to go or stay, or for those who want to understand the reasons others might make a different choice.